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4 Myths About Collaborative Divorce


Collaborative divorce has many advantages. It allows you and your spouse to take charge of your own divorce and make all of the important decisions about where your children will live, with whom, and how marital property will be divided. The result is a personalized divorce settlement created by you and your spouse, not a well-intentioned judge who doesn’t know your family or its unique dynamics.

Nonetheless, collaborative divorce is comparatively new and, therefore, not as well understood. In this blog, we will debunk four common myths about the process and explain how it really works.

Myth #1: The spouses must agree on everything

Few divorces transpire without disagreement between the spouses but they don’t always have to be litigated. This is where the collaborative divorce team can help. 

You will work with a team of professionals to resolve problems not to do battle. Depending on your circumstances, these professionals may include neutral financial experts, mental health professionals who help facilitate difficult discussions, and sometimes a child specialist. Your attorney will also be present to make sure that your interests are protected.

Myth #2: If you have a lot of assets, formal discovery is necessary

While it’s true that there is no formal discovery process in collaborative divorce, there is still a requirement to disclose all financial information. A neutral financial specialist will review all information, confirm its accuracy, and ask questions about any missing information. At the end the parties sign a sworn asset and liability statement attesting to the completeness and accuracy of the financial disclosure. 

Myth #3: Child custody can only be resolved in court

Collaborative divorce is a great option for couples with children. Rather than strategizing to see who can make the other party look the worst in court, parents work together with the professional team or with the child specialist to develop a workable parenting plan in the best interests of their children.

Myth #4: Collaborative divorce is too expensive

While collaborative divorce may cost you more than a straightforward uncontested divorce, it  can be a lot less expensive than litigation. Working with experts like a financial neutral or mental health professional makes it possible to resolve any issues and complete the divorce more efficiently. Generally you are spending on productive work and problem solving and not on trial preparation which can be extremely expensive and create additional problems for people who are likely to have a relationship long after divorce either as parents or through mutual friends. 

Contact a Nashville collaborative divorce attorney

If you’re preparing for divorce and you and your spouse are willing to work together, collaborative divorce can help you respectfully resolve any disagreements, divide marital property in a way that both sides find acceptable, and create a custody plan that sets the stage for a positive co-parenting relationship. Irwin Kuhn has years of experience in the collaborative divorce process, and will use his qualifications and insights to achieve best results with your divorce case. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please call (615) 321-5659.

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Online Mediation and Collaboration: How We Create the Perfect Digital Environment for Dispute Resolution


In addition to the many benefits of mediation and collaboration, many potential clients are discovering that with access to the courts limited, these may be the quickest ways to resolve disputes. Like so many professionals, mediators and collaborative attorneys have spent the last several months learning how best to adapt the work they do to the digital realm. We have been really excited about some of the innovative ways we’ve learned to use technology to take mediation and collaboration to the next level. In today’s blog post, we want to share some of the ways we’ve discovered that Zoom mediation and collaborative sessions can recreate face-to-face meetings and in some ways even surpass it.

Breakout Rooms

Zoom enables “breakout rooms” which allow participants from a conference call to easily disperse into smaller groups outside of the main conversation. For example, you could take a moment to discuss something one on one with your attorney, then return to the other people on the call. It’s the equivalent of stepping into another room down the hall in our office, but translated pretty seamlessly into the virtual space. 

Screen Sharing

Screen sharing allows us to share what we’re seeing with other participants in a Zoom call. With the right programs, it’s like having a dry erase board that we can all see. This can help us keep conversations on track and remember the points that have been made. We can also review documents like agreements together in real time.

Flexibility of Scheduling

We’ve found that scheduling mediation sessions is much easier when we do it virtually. Participants do not have to worry about commute times because they can join the call from anywhere, as long as they are connected to the internet. This ability also often makes participants more comfortable as they can experience the mediation from the comfort of their own homes.

A tip from our team: Sometimes breaking mediation into several sessions rather than going at it all day is a good idea. This is an emotional process and we don’t want you to get burned out. The flexibility of scheduling provided by virtual mediation makes this a lot easier.

Are you curious about mediation?

If you’re facing a dispute, such as a divorce, mediation or collaboration might be the right path for reaching a resolution. If you’re interested in learning more about how our team is mediating in the age of coronavirus, please don’t hesitate to contact us today. You can reach Irwin Kuhn at (615) 321-5659. We can’t wait to hear from you to discuss your needs and our practice!

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Tips for Creating a Parenting Plan in the Best Interest of Your Children


Every divorcing couple with children under 18 has to have a parenting plan for them. Either you and your spouse decide what it will be, and the court approves it, or a judge who doesn’t know you or your children will decide what it is going to be. An experienced mediator can help both parents create a plan that works for the family. 

Questions for parents to think about

What works for the children? For some, a week to week, 50-50 schedule works but the kids will only go to one school at a time. Where will they go?  Will they have to make a long commute to get to school if one parent relocates to another part of town? If it is more practical for the kids to spend more time with one parent during school, can they spend more time with the other parenting in the summer?

What happens when your 14-year-old wants to get a tattoo? How do you deal with extra-curricular activities? Who pays, and how much? Who decides what activities children will have during whose parenting time? How do you decide how to pay for things like braces? 

Focus on the child’s best interests

Remember that you and your former partner share one very important common goal — to do what is best for your child. No matter your differences, sharing this intention is the most important thing at the end of the day.

Work with an experienced mediator

An experienced mediator can help parents find practical solutions. All families are unique, but a mediator can make suggestions from past experiences that may be a starting point to help parents create a plan that works for their family. Irwin Kuhn has extensive experience helping couples navigate mediation and create fair parenting plans. He can help you collaborate on a plan that will work and be in your child’s best interest. If you have questions or you’re ready to get started, contact us at (615) 321-5659!

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Four Reasons to Consider Signing a Prenup


People don’t buy insurance policies because they hope to get sick but because they know bad things can happen and want effective ways to deal with adversity. Many people dismiss prenuptial agreements, commonly referred to as “prenups,” as “too unromantic” or “only for the rich and famous,” but they’re actually practical tools for planning for the unexpected. They can strengthen your relationship, foster communication, and help prevent stressful and expensive disputes down the road. In today’s blog post, we’re looking at some of the reasons you may want to consider signing a prenup.

  1. Peace of mind that you’re marrying for love, not for money.

As couples put off marriage until they are more mature and settled, they have often built businesses and some financial security of their own. Other people may expect inheritance from their families. Prenuptials are an excellent way to put aside worries about what happens to those assets if things go wrong or in the event of death. 

  1. Ensure support if things don’t go according to plan.

Prenups allow couples to avoid disputes about support in the event a marriage is dissolved. What happens if both parties continue to earn good incomes during a short marriage can be very different than what happens after a long marriage when one of them spent years raising children.

  1. Avoid being held responsible for debt that isn’t yours.

Maybe you love that guy but you worry about the way he uses his credit cards. Take care of that in a prenup. Debt can last longer than love. A prenuptial agreement can address what happens to debt one party may take on during the marriage that might otherwise be considered the couple’s debt. 

  1. Make it easier for your kids if something happens.

You can’t make a parenting plan in a prenuptial agreement but you might want to use one to make an agreement about who will pay for college or how wealth may be distributed to them in the event of death. Also, a prenup may help couples with children avoid bitter disputes about money that can make a difficult situation much worse for the children, young or old. 

I’ve decided to create a prenup agreement with my fiance. Who can help us?

Irwin Kuhn can help you strengthen your relationship with a prenuptial agreement. He will work with your fiance’s attorney (you both have to have one!) to create a plan that will benefit you both. We are passionate about helping couples protect themselves by coming together in this way. If you’re ready to get started, give Irwin a call today at (615) 321-5659.

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Understanding Powers of Attorney


Powers of attorney (POA) are an extremely important planning tool that can benefit almost everyone — from 18-year-olds going off to college to the elderly who find themselves in fragile health conditions. However, many people do not have a clear understanding of how they work. That’s why in today’s blog post, we’re discussing POA basics.

A power of attorney is a legal document that you can create in order to grant another person the authority to make decisions on your behalf. When you create a power of attorney, you are called the “principal” and the person you grant decision-making authority to is called the “agent” or “attorney-in-fact.”

There are several different types of powers of attorney. Healthcare powers of attorney allow the agent to make medical decisions on behalf of the principal. General powers of attorney allow the agent to make financial decisions on behalf of the principal. Limited powers of attorney give the principal the opportunity to pick and choose which authorities they grant the agent.

Regular powers of attorney come to an end in one of the following three cases:

  • The principal revokes the power of attorney. He or she can do this at any time by tearing it up..
  • The expiration date of the power of attorney passes if it is time limited. You can make an expiration date for your power of attorney when you create it, but you do not have to.
  • The principal becomes incapacitated without a “durable” power of attorney. For example, he or she may be in a coma or have dementia or Alzheimer’s to such a degree that he or she is no longer cognizant enough to make decisions. 

You may have heard of the phrase “durable” power of attorney. Durability can be added to any of the above types of power of attorney, the primary difference being that durable powers of attorney do not become invalid if the principal becomes incapacitated. Durable powers of attorney can provide peace of mind that your financial affairs and/or healthcare decisions will be handled by someone you trust if anything happens to you. 

Planning for the future is important. Powers of attorney are just one of many tools you can use to ensure that you will be protected in the future or an uncertain time and your wishes will be protected. If you are interested in creating an estate plan that is personalized to your unique situation in life, the VKBAR team is here to help. We encourage you to contact us today so that we can begin your estate planning journey together.

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How a Child Specialist Can Be Helpful in Your Divorce


When couples who have children seek a divorce, often their greatest concern is how the process will impact their children. It is widely accepted that divorce is stressful for children and can cause long-term emotional damage, especially when it isn’t dealt with properly. It is absolutely essential that parents help their children feel safe, secure, and loved during and after a divorce. 

At VKBAR, we highly recommend working with a child specialist during a divorce. Child specialists fit naturally into the collaborative divorce process, but can be useful during a traditional divorce as well. The child specialist’s role in a divorce can typically be broken down into a few stages. Read on to learn about each one and how it benefits you and your children.

Meeting with Parents

When the child specialist meets with the parents, jointly, they have the opportunity to voice their concerns about the impact of their divorce on their children. The child specialist will obtain pertinent information about the child’s background and developmental history. If this meeting occurs before the parents have told the children that they are getting a divorce, the child specialist can help them prepare for that difficult conversation. There may be multiple meetings between the parents and the child specialist to ensure that they get all the information they need about helping their children throughout the process. 

Meeting with Children

Typically the child specialist will have one or two meetings with the child or children. If the divorcing couple has multiple children, the sessions may be held together or separately depending on what the specialist deems appropriate. Whether the sessions are more structured or play-based depends on the child’s age. The child specialist is a safe, neutral party who can answer the child’s questions about the divorce, work through issues with them, and help them feel better equipped to face the changes in their family.

Creating a Developmentally Responsive Parenting Plan

After these meetings, the child specialist will help the parents create a fair parenting plan. They aim to create a plan that provides the child with the support and comfort they need. It should be a plan that is functional and will last for years to come, but the child specialist also acknowledges that the plan will likely have to change as the child gets older. He or she helps the parents anticipate how they will let their plan evolve over time.

Ongoing Consultations

As the divorced couple begins to co-parent, most child specialists offer ongoing support to help with changing the parenting plan, minimizing stress on children, and more, as needed.

Where can I learn more about collaborative divorce?

If you are interested in learning more about the collaborative divorce process, VKBAR, PLLC is here to help. To discuss your options, give Irwin Kuhn a call at (615) 321-5659.

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The Dangers of Using Online Form Wills


At VKBAR, PLLC we often hear clients ask, “Why can’t I just use an online form Will to make this easier?”

The truth is, if you use an online form Will, it might hold up legally and be perfectly fine. But there’s also a strong chance that it might not. The danger of this happening is simply too great and the consequences too severe for it to be wise to take this path. 

One major issue is that online form Wills often claim to be state specific even when they are not. Since every state has its own set of requirements and regulations for Wills, this becomes a major issue. An online form Will that works in Arkansas may not get the job done in Georgia and vice versa. In Tennessee, we have very strict rules about what a Will must provide, making the use of online form Wills particularly concerning here.

Another issue, is that often form Wills don’t offer a way for you to express the specifics of all of your wishes, especially if your estate plan is more complex or in any way unusual. 

The greatest danger of using an online form Will is that no one will realize it doesn’t work until it is too late. You can leave your loved ones in a really tough situation if the way in which you expressed your final wishes does not stand up legally. They may have to endure a lot of stress and expense in order to make sure things are done in the way you wanted, or they may, unfortunately, be unsuccessful in this, leaving your estate to be divided and distributed via probate court in accordance with intestate law. 

Doesn’t sound like the path you want your estate to take after you pass away? We didn’t think so! That’s why we think it’s so important to forego online form Wills, and instead create your Will and other estate planning documents with an experienced attorney.

Who can help?

At VKBAR, PLLC, we have extensive experience in many areas of law including estate planning. We believe that a strong estate plan, including a strong Will, can give you peace of mind that your wishes will be respected after you pass away and that what you have worked hard for in life will continue to benefit your loved ones after your death. If you have questions about our services or if you are ready to get started, give us a call at (615) 321-5659.

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How to Approach Your Spouse About a Collaborative Divorce


More and more people who come to our office after deciding their marriage has reached its end want to avoid the additional financial and emotional cost of a traditional divorce. There are good options.  If you’ve learned about collaborative divorce and think it might be a good approach for you and your soon-to-be-ex, make sure you approach them in a way that allows them to really appreciate the things that make collaborative divorce different. An initial consultation will include suggestions on how to talk to your spouse about a collaborative divorce. 

Do your research.

Become as knowledgeable as possible about what you are proposing before you bring it up. If your spouse is completely new to the idea of a collaborative divorce, he or she will likely have many questions. We will provide you with resources to help you talk to your husband or wife. Our website has lots of information about the collaborative process; it is ok to let your spouse see it!

Schedule an Information Session.  

A collaborative lawyer does not represent both sides and can’t give legal advice to a party who may be on the other side of a case. We can, however, give both sides information about various approaches to divorce, including collaborative, without giving legal advice or hearing confidential information. Feel free to schedule a joint informational session with your spouse, if that would be helpful.

Let Us Invite Your Spouse to Collaborate.

Some clients think it is helpful if we send a letter or email to their spouse to explain what the collaborative approach is and how it might be helpful in their situation. Let us know if that would be a good idea in your case. 

Explain the financial advantages.

Courts and litigation proceedings are expensive. Make sure your spouse clearly understands that a collaborative divorce can save you both time and money.

Tell your spouse what attracts you to collaborative divorce.

Is it the chance that it gives you an opportunity to talk things out in a comfortable, respectful environment? Is it because you want a more efficient problem-solving approach to your divorce? Are you looking for a process that addresses the unique needs and interests of your family? Do you want to avoid a process that makes it harder to co-parent after the divorce? Is it because it protects your privacy and you want to stay out of court? Let your spouse know what appeals to you, personally, about choosing collaborative divorce over traditional divorce and why it might work best for them.

Listen to their thoughts and opinions. Understand that you have to both agree to it in order for it to happen.

A collaborative divorce can’t work if both sides aren’t willing to collaborate. Understand that no matter how badly you want to divorce this way, it can only happen if your spouse agrees. We will help you think about how to talk to your husband or wife. 

For more information about collaborative divorce or to get started, call our offices at (615) 321-5659. Attorney Irwin Kuhn has extensive experience with collaborative divorce and is eager to work with you.

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What You Need to Know About Conservatorships for Your Parents


Do you have a parent or adult friend who can no longer make his or her own decisions regarding their finances and medical care? Perhaps they’ve experienced a brain injury that left them in a coma, a stroke that impaired normal function or they suffer from Alzheimer’s disease. Financial planners or bank officers also may contact family members if they notice a change in a client’s financial habits. If the parent/client does not have a durable power of attorney in place, or the power of attorney is not being used for their benefit, you will need to ask a court to appoint a conservator in a court-monitored conservatorship proceeding. Becoming a conservator (or asking that a third party become the conservator) gives you the legal ability to help them in ways you could not before and replaces a previous power of attorney which might be exercised by someone who is not acting in the parent’s best interest. 

There are two different functions of a conservator. The conservator of finances handles financial affairs on the incapacitated person’s behalf. The conservator of the person handles healthcare decisions. Both roles can be taken by the same person.  A physician will also have to recommend that the person they have examined needs a conservatorship.

If I become my parent’s conservator, what will I be able to do?

You will be able to:

  • Sell real estate,
  • Manage property,
  • Choose doctors,
  • Choose care facilities,
  • And more.

You will need to file updates with the court about the things you do on behalf of your parent. This is to ensure that you do not mishandle their property. If you do, you can be replaced as conservator and be subject to penalties. 

What if someone else is caring for my parent and I believe they are mishandling funds or mistreating my parents?

Nationally, only 1 out of every 44 crimes against seniors is reported. If you suspect mistreatment of an elderly person, please report it. You can reach Tennessee’s Adult Protective Services at (615) 532-3492. 

Who can help me with a conservatorship-related matter?

If you think your parent needs a conservator and you want to take on these duties, contact VKBAR, PLLC today. The process of becoming a conservator involves a large amount of paperwork and can become very complicated, so it is important to have an experienced lawyer by your side. At VKBAR, PLLC, we pride ourselves on providing our clients with close personalized attention and the highest value. Give us a call at (615) 321-5659 to get started. 

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Understanding the Role of the Financial Professional in a Collaborative Divorce


The process of collaborative divorce helps couples find creative solutions to the problems they face as they divide their assets and make plans for their lives apart from one another. There are many financial challenges that come along with a divorce and each case is different. The couple must navigate taxes, family support, and fairly dividing the value of real estate and business interests. Emotions can run high when it comes to these very important matters, which is why collaborative divorce relies on the help of a neutral financial professional, who helps in a variety of ways. As the name implies, the financial neutral works for both parties in the divorce process and agrees to work for neither party after the divorce.

The financial neutral is often the key to making the collaborative process efficient. Since one skilled professional gathers all the relevant financial information from both sides, cleints do have to pay two legal teams to do the same thing. 

Educating the clients: Sometimes in a marriage, one party is far more involved in financial management and planning than the other. Sometimes neither party has a solid understanding of their financial position. In these cases, the financial professional educated them so that both parties have a clear, honest understanding of where they stand financially.

Budget development: The financial professional helps the divorcing parties develop reasonable budgets for their lives outside the marriage.

Guiding the couple in discussing their settlement options: Before the couple can reach an agreement, they need to know what their options are. The financial professional helps guide these discussions, providing insightful analysis of each possibility, including the ways they would be taxed.

Financial reports: The financial professional creates financial reports for the divorcing couple and the lawyers. These can serve as the clients’ declarations of disclosure, which is a document required by courts.

Business Valuations: Often it is important to place a value on a family’s business interest. Collaborative financial neutrals are available to collaborative teams to offer such services. 

In most collaborative divorces, the role of neutral financial professional is played by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) or Certified Appraisers. They must have no loyalty to either party so that they can guide the couple in a completely neutral, fair manner.

If you and your spouse are ready to work together to find a win-win solution for the end of your marriage, collaborative divorce may be right for you. At Venick, Kuhn, Byassee, Austin, & Rosen, PLLC, we work with clients to efficiently end their marriages, in the least acrimonious way possible. In fact, Attorney Irwin Kuhn was among the first collaboratively trained family law attorneys in Tennessee. If you are interested in working through your family law matter with our Nashville team, give us a call at (615) 321-5659. 

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